5000 DAYS AND COUNTING
It just occurred to me that California Tortilla has been open more than 5000 days. Isn’t that amazing? With that said, it’s been a great adventure and I’d like to take this opportunity to share with you the highs and lows of those first 5000 days:
Day 1: California Tortilla opens. Nobody cares but us and our relatives who eat for free.
Day 56: A deejay from Mix 107.3 eats at California Tortilla. He loudly proclaims he hates the food. I run in the bathroom and cry.
Day 57: One of our neighbors suggests we turn the restaurant into a Chinese Buffet. We tell him we think that’s a good idea and then secretly plot his demise.
Day 92: Our first review comes out and it says I look like Jamie Lee Curtis and Alan (the guy on the cup with me) looks like Paul Simon. Apparently it’s important to let the public know we look like not particularly attractive celebrities.
Day 492: An employee picks up something off the floor without us asking him to.
Day 633: We get napkin holders that are actually the same size as the napkins.
Day 756: We open on Sundays. At the exact same moment all of our employees become churchgoers.
Day 837: Taco Talk reaches a circulation of 12.
Day 845: The police write us a Cease and Desist letter demanding that we remove a customer from the Taco Talk fax list. Back down to 11.
Day 932: We buy an outdoor mike. Our realm of customer abuse is greatly expanded.
Day 1243: We start serving breakfast.
Day 1244: We stop serving breakfast.
Day 2361: The Crunchy BBQ Ranch burrito is added to the menu. Customers are shocked by the unprecedented combination of barbecue sauce and Ranch dressing.
Day 2614: A California Tortilla opens in the Cabin John Shopping Center to record shattering sales. Customers are shocked by the unprecedented combination of Mexican food and Potomac people.
Day 3253: We start franchising. Our relatives want to know if they get to eat for free at the franchised California Tortillas as well.
Day 3254: We move into the Cal Tort HQ. I realize I have no idea what to do in an office. (Apparently what you don’t do is put on afternoon puppet shows. Who knew?)
Day 3654: We introduce Burrito Bowls. We’re quite pleased by our ingenuity.
Day 4258: We discontinue serving apple empanadas. Thousands protest. We are taken by surprise given that we sell 3 a year.
Day 4639: We give away free tacos on Election Day. Our relatives are thrilled.
Day 4931: We’re voted Best Burrito in DC. We spend an inordinate amount of time congratulating ourselves.
Day 5000: Who knows? I can’t remember.
GET IN ON IT ON WEDNESDAYS!
We’ve got big, big October scoop: We’re going to be giving you free food and fabulous discounts every Wednesday in October. Yee-ha! All you have to do is provide the spunky cashier with the secret password for that day. How will you know the secret password, you ask? You’ll just have to do one of the following:
If you do any of those things, or preferably all of them because the queen commanded you to, the secret passwords will be revealed to you in a secret manner and you’ll be able to take advantage of all those fabulous giveaways on Wednesdays.
As I write this, I’m eating a piece of pecan swirl cheesecake that only cost me $1. How great is that?
Check out our latest limited time offer….it’s got BACON!
Starts October 5th…