California Tortilla

Taco Talk
March 31, 2014

April Taco Talk: Issue 225

FlaminGatorBurrito

IT’S  GATOR  TIME!

For a limited time only we’re featuring the fabulously delicious Flamin’ Gator BBQ Burrito, also available as a bowl.  It’s made with J.T. Pappy’s hot sauce—an incredibly popular hot sauce that’s only available at California Tortilla.

FLAMIN’  GATOR  BBQ  BURRITO

-Grilled mesquite chicken
-Hickory smoked  bacon
-Mexican rice
-Black beans
-Caramelized onions
-J.T. Pappy’s Gator Sauce (mustard based bbq sauce with a kick) Have your pick of mild, medium or hot.
-Salsa
-Crisp Romaine lettuce

FREE  CHIPS  AND  QUESO  ON  TAX  DAY

That’s right—because you pay big cheese on Tax Day, we’re going to give you some free cheese right back. All you have to do is make a purchase at any California Tortilla on Tuesday, April 15th and when you say the secret password “Taxes Shmaxes,” we’ll give you free Chips and Queso or Salsa.

And in keeping with our tradition of scheduling all of our promotions on horrible weather days, it’ll be fun to see what disastrous weather befalls us. A cyclone? A tsunami? A sandstorm? Stay Tuned…

CINCO  DE  MAYO’S  RIGHT  AROUND  THE  CORNER

And we’re taking it to the next level!  Place a catering order for anytime from Friday May 2nd through Monday, May 5th for 20 people or more and we’ll give the first 100 orders a FREE PIÑATA chockfull of Cal Tort coupons and other treats.  Start planning winning orders should be in on April 21st

Just call our catering hotline at    1-855-225-8678 (1-855-CALTORT) to place your order and you could be well on your way to accidentally whacking your co-worker on the head with a stick.

BAD  DATE  STORIES…

As you may remember, in February’s Taco Talk I asked you to email me your worst date stories. I got hundreds of submissions and believe me when I tell you I loved reading each and every one of them.  Most of them were horrifyingly hilarious, which is of course exactly what I wanted to hear. (Most of them also took place at TGI Friday’s. Who knew?)

Anyway, since most of the stories were too long to print, I thought I’d share with you excerpts from a few of my favorites:

•   “…and then he licked the ketchup bottle.”

•   “That’s when I saw him climb out the bathroom window.

•   “I go to the bathroom before the food arrives. I come back to see a bite’s been taken out of my burger. He said that must be a fancy way they serve them.”

•   “I drove to pick her up for dinner and she greeted me at the door wearing a beautiful one-piece bathing suit.” (When did that become an option?”

•   “I met a guy at a singles event and he invited me on a date the next evening. So we go out the next night and hang out for several hours. Two nights later we ran into each other again at a group dinner and he re-introduced himself to me.”

•   “Went out with this really nice guy, second date he decided to kiss me and all his teeth fell out!” (I’m not even sure what to make of that.)

•   “He sat across from me and bit off his fingernails and spit them out in his lap.”

•   “Anyway, she decides she has to go to the restroom and assures me the dogs, who apparently only understand German, will stay put. Hilarity ensues as the dogs get up and start wandering around eating other people’s pizza.” (He got points for “hilarity ensues.”)

•   “When I told him my hands were cold, he told me I could warm them up by sticking them in his pants.  I said, ‘Thanks, I have my own pants.’ ”

•   And finally, an excerpt that perfectly sums up how I think we would all like our bad dates to end up: “He went on to be in the Barnum and Bailey circus and was in the circus until he had an affair with someone from the trapeze family.”

On that note, thanks so much for sharing these stories with me. You made my day! Now go on out and have some more bad dates. I have many more Taco Talks to write.

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