DOUBLE POINT WEDNESDAYS!

That’s right—every Wednesday in December we’re giving DOUBLE Burrito Elito points on all Cal Tort purchases.* At two points for every $1 you spend, you’ll be at 50 points, and therefore $5 in Burrito Bucks, in no time. Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo!

*Excluding catering and gift card purchases

THE HOLIDAYS ARE RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER…

And in the true holiday spirit, I’d like to tell you about all the fabulous California Tortilla-related gifts you can give your loved ones this holiday season. Just take a look…

FABULOUS CAL TORT HOLIDAY GIFT IDEAS

A Cal Tort Gift Card: This gift lets the lucky recipient know his or her worth in Mexican food, rounded to the nearest $5.

A Burrito Elito Card: After earning all those Burrito Bucks by eating at Cal Tort on Double Point Wednesdays, re-gift your Burrito Elito card—it’s just like giving cash! (Cash that’s registered in your name.)

A California Tortilla franchise: Just think how pleased Grandma will be when she finds out her dream of working in a quick-service Mexican restaurant for the rest of her life has finally been realized!

A Bottle of Hot Sauce: Help the same Grandma round out her “Colon Cleaner” hot sauce collection! (This is going to be a special, special holiday for this grandmother.)

A Cal Tort Pony: Watch our lawyer’s head explode when we even pretend this is an option! (Some things I say just for me.)

And when you’re done buying gifts for others, buy one for yourself: A Gyro Burrito or Burrito Bowl. (See below.) It’s just here for a short time more and it’s so, so good.

WE FED THE GIRL SCOUTS

A while ago we ran a contest where the prize was a Cal Tort-catered party.  One of the winners was Girl Scout Troop 766 of Olney and I think you’ll all agree that the troop leaders came up with a great use for their Cal Tort party: they used the party to reward the girls and their families for their efforts in collecting educational toys for a local charity called Family Services. The girls collected a ton of toys and we’re absolutely thrilled that we could be part of the reward.

So congratulations girls—you’re generous and adorable! Plus, you make very, very good cookies. Who doesn’t like a Thin Mint? (That’s a rhetorical question.)

Girl Scout Troop 766 and one very cute little boy

SPEAKING OF REWARDS…

If you call the Cal Tort catering hotline and place a catering order for $300 or more between now and the end of the year, we’ll give you a $25 Amex gift card.* To place your order just call 1-855-CALTORT (1-855-225-8678) and you’ll be on your way to great food and a $25 Amex gift card. Click here for our festive catering options.

*While supplies last. So hurry and drum up a party.

AND FINALLY…

All of us at California Tortilla wish you Happy Holidays!

FREE TACO TIME

That’s right—on November 7th, Cal Tort is putting a free taco on your Burrito Elito card. All you have to do is present your REGISTERED Burrito Elito card to the spunky cashier anytime between November 7th and November 14th and he or she will give you a free taco. That’s all you have to do. Tell me that’s not exciting! (Actually, don’t tell me. That would crush me; I’m very sensitive.)

FREE CHILI TIME

In an effort to give you yet more free food, on Wednesday, November 16th, when you make a purchase California Tortilla will give you a free 4 oz. sample of the best chili you’ve ever had AND a coupon for a free 8oz. chili on your next visit. That’s 2 free chilis! (Because you don’t know how to count.) I LOVE our chili. It’s absolutely fabulous in every way. So come on by on the 16th and try the chili that you had no idea we served. It’s SO good. And don’t even get me started on our Nachos with Chili…

DELICIOUS GYRO BURRITO TIME

Gyro Burrito: Mexican rice, the tastiest gyro meat, tzatziki sauce (cucumber yogurt sauce), feta cheese, chopped pepperoncini peppers, salsa and romaine all rolled in a warm flour tortilla or served in a bowl. It’s here for a limited time, so hurry in!

FREE GIFT CARD TIME

If you call the Cal Tort catering hotline and place a catering order for $300 or more (preferably more) between now and the end of the year, we’ll give you a $25 Amex gift card.* Isn’t that just peachy? To place your order just call 1-855-CALTORT (1-855-225-8678) and you’ll be on your way to great food and a great little reward for yourself!

*While supplies last. So hurry and drum up a party.

GIVING THANKS TIME. Kind of.

Usually this time of year I write a list of things we’re thankful for, but after reading past issues of Taco Talk (a wonderful sleeping aid), I’ve decided that I’m just thankful we’re still in business. Just look at some of the wacky stuff we used to do:

• We used to ask other restaurants to provide recipes for our weekly burrito specials. I seriously used to go to every restaurant in town and ask them if they’d give us a sauce for our special that week. I was always surprised when someone said no. Don’t you think I should have been surprised when someone said yes? And seriously, how lazy were we?
• We used to have customers sign up to be “Super Chip Boy.” Super Chip Boy would run around the restaurant on Friday nights handing out chips while wearing tights and a cape that had a big “S” on it. Tell me that doesn’t sound manic.
• We used to put free notices in the “I Saw You” section of our local paper that said, “I saw you at California Tortilla eating a delicious Blackened Chicken Caesar Burrito. I must meet you.” Apparently not only were we lazy, we were also cheap. And liars. You’d think someone at the paper would have become suspicious when the lovesick writer could tell by looking at a burrito what kind it was, wouldn’t you?
• We used to give out toothbrushes that said, “Everyone’s a winner when you brush after a burrito.” (I’m not sure why—were we receiving complaints?)
• We used to have theme months. According to Taco Talk, in October 1996 every time someone ordered the burrito special we’d play Copacabana on a tape player at the register. Barry Manilow over and over and over again. That had to be fun for the whole family.

So thank you from the bottom of our hearts for sticking with us. You’re nothing if not troopers! (And honestly, I pretend to be horrified by these things, but we’re actually thinking of doing every one of them again. Isn’t that scary?)

On that note, we all hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

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POP TART DAY IS BACK!

Believe it or not, on Tuesday, October 11th we’re celebrating our 17th annual Pop–Tarts Day. It’s my absolute favorite promotion that we do and we’ll be giving away 20,000 fabulously delicious Pop–Tarts (TM) pouches for free that day–19,996 more than we gave away on our first Pop–Tarts Day.*

But that’s not all! Once again we’ve upped the Pop–Tarts Day ante. One customer from each of California Tortilla’s 35 locations could find a golden sticker hidden on his or her Pop–Tarts pouch. The golden ticket will entitle the aforementioned lucky customer to one burrito per week for 52 weeks! But, if you find it and you’re not really excited about it, we’re going to take it back. We have the technology.

See you next Tuesday (and all the days in between)…

*No purchase necessary. While supplies last. Open to legal residents of the fifty (50) United States and District of Columbia who are 13 years of age or older. Void where prohibited. Contest starts 10/11/11 at 5:00 AM and ends at 10/11/11 at 11:00 PM. Sponsor – California Tortilla 20 Courthouse Square, #206 Rockville, MD 20850. Click here for official rules.

LOOK WHAT ELSE IS BACK —

THE GYRO BURRITO!

It’s got Mexican rice, the tastiest gyro meat, tzatziki sauce (cucumber yogurt sauce), feta cheese, chopped pepperoncini peppers, salsa and romaine all rolled in a warm flour tortilla or served in a bowl. And simply delicious – as anyone who’s ever had it will tell you. (Me in particular.)

WE’VE GOT MAIL

And we LOVE when we get mail. Here are just a few of the pressing questions the Queen has gotten recently:

Q. I’ve been a Burrito Elito member since 2007 and I’ve yet to receive any rewards. Is that normal?

A. Yes, it is. We’ve got a loyalty program that requires you to eat here almost half a decade before you earn anything. How’s that workin’ for you? That’s what a snarky queen would say. A nice queen (moi) would say: I’m so sorry about that! All you need to do is register your card at www.californiatortilla.com and you can start redeeming all your Burrito Bucks immediately. See the difference?

Q. Will you ever install a drive-thru window at any of your locations?

A. Possibly. But you’ll have to finish your food before leaving the pick-up window—eating while driving just isn’t safe.

Q. Is it true that Brad Ross, one of Major League Lacrosse’s break out players, just told Inside Lacrosse magazine that he loves California Tortilla?

A. Why yes it is! And such a coincidence that you should ask just as I was thinking how to nonchalantly mention it—in the exact wording no less.

Q. My friend always wants a bite of my darn tasty brownie; how do I say no without looking like a scrooge?

A. You don’t. You say, “Sure!” and then right before handing it to her, lick it. I promise, that’ll put a stop to that. And if not, you need a new friend for many other reasons.

Q. Why don’t your kids look anything like the nice young man on the cup with you?

A. Because he’s not my husband, Grandma. If anything changes I’ll let you know. (Do you like how my grandmother goes in and out of being alive, depending on if it’s convenient for me?)

See-I told you they were pressing.

AND FINALLY…

We’re thrilled to tell you that California Tortilla customers helped us raise more than $20,000 for Dine Out For No Kid Hungry. That’s thousands upon thousands of meals for hungry children! Thank you SO much for your incredible generosity—we can’t tell you how much we appreciate it. Now give yourself a high-five. (Clap your hands over your head like you’re doing a jumping jack. But don’t do the feet part. That’s exhausting.)

On that note, we’ll see you soon…

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FREE TACO AND SO MUCH MORE!

We’re excited to announce that once again we’re participating in the Dine Out for No Kid Hungry; a campaign dedicated to helping end childhood hunger in America. Here’s how it works: When you donate a dollar or more at any Cal Tort between Monday, September 19 and Saturday, September 24, we’ll give you a coupon for a FREE TACO on your next visit. Each dollar you donate will provide 10 meals for a hungry child. Yes, 10 meals!

So please join us from 9/19-9/24 and help us fight childhood hunger. It’s a great, yet really simple way to get involved.

*Please note that this year, unlike last year, we’re hoping to help end childhood hunger instead of childhood in general. It sounds crazy, I know.

LAST CHANCE!

The fabulous Bangkok Shrimp specials are going away this month, so get ‘em while you can.

SPEAKING OF HELPING…

As many of you know, we just celebrated our 16th birthday. And because we’re all about giving (me in particular), we thought we’d take a few moments of your time and share with you just a few of the very important lessons that we’ve learned over the years—just in case you’re thinking of opening a business yourself one day. Ready?

VALUABLE CAL TORT LESSONS LEARNED

• OUCH! That grill is hot!
• Never order 500,000 wax lips.
• No matter how many different mascots you buy, they’ll all be too hot for any human to ever wear and they’ll get dirty just by looking at them.
• If one of the biggest earthquakes in a century occurs, people will continue eating.
• If one of the biggest hurricanes in a century occurs, people will stop eating. (You people make disaster planning very difficult.)
• A customer will go to great lengths to be removed from your email list, including filing a police report. (Okay, maybe that’s just particular to my email list. But seriously, how scary am I that he had to get the police involved?)
• Your franchise lawyer is very picky about what you can say in your newsletter.
• Having a promotion that entails customers throwing a ball into a hoop that’s behind the cashier’s head isn’t nearly as good an idea as it sounds. (Where was our franchise lawyer that day?)
• If you have a focus group, no one will focus; they’ll just talk about their pets.
• If you talk to the food delivery guy, he will think you like him.

So there you have it folks—valuable insights that I think we can all agree can be applied to any business. And I’ve got plenty more where those came from, so just ask.

AND FINALLY…

The winner of this month’s Cal Tort-catered party is Ned Ferris, a member of the University of Delaware’s Delta Tau Delta. And Ned, nice guy that he is, used his catering party to cater a burrito party for the “unbelievably nice kids” of the Greater Newark Boys and Girls Club. He and several of his fraternity brothers volunteer for the Greater Newark Boys and Girls Club, an incredible program that helps low income kids.

So congratulations, Ned. You have no idea how thrilled we are to make you this month’s contest winner—and how impressed we are with how thoughtful you guys are. And congratulations kids for being so darn cute! It’s not as easy as it looks. I know of what I speak.

Aforementioned nice, cute kids.

On that note, I hope you have a disaster-free Labor Day!

FREE TACO TOMORROW!

We’ve got 2 ways to get a free taco tomorrow, Wednesday, August 3rd: Either say the secret password “SHARK” to the spunky cashier OR wear your unbelievably popular (to put it mildly) Discovery Channel shark fin hat from last week’s promotion and you’ll get a FREE TACO with any purchase. It’s just that simple. And fashionable.

*Shark Week is happening as we speak on the Discovery Channel. To learn more about Shark Week, visit www.sharkweek.com.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US

On August 4th we’re celebrating our 16th birthday–can you believe it? (President Obama’s birthday is also August 4th. Do you think he runs around yelling Yee-ha! on his birthday like we do?)

Anyway, because I know you’re dying to know, I thought I’d give you a highlight from each of the past 16 years. (Pretend that doesn’t sound too long and boring.)

Here goes…

1995: The first California Tortilla opens in Bethesda, MD. Our first newspaper review says “You’d have to be an idiot to open a restaurant in Bethesda.” Apparently the reviewer has met us.

1996: The Monday Night Mystery Burrito Wheel debuts. Customers love the discounts but are slightly frightened by the disco ball.

1997: We get labels made for the burritos; parties of 2 or more no longer have to bite each one to see what it is.

1998: We have a hot sauce naming contest and 12 year old Josh wins with “California Screamin’.” Josh couldn’t care less.

1999: We get our first email address. We can’t wait to find out what an email is.

2000: We host our first Doggy Yappy Hour on our patio. At one point 50% of the dogs have thrown up.

2001: We spend thousands renovating the restaurant. Everyone asks if I got my hair cut.

2002: We add coffee to the menu. Nobody buys it but our employees start working really fast.

2003: We feature a “Mystery Burrito” as our monthly special. We won’t say what’s in it and we black out the cooking line with construction paper. It flies off the shelves. We consider blacking out the entire menu.

2004: We receive a cease-and-desist letter saying we must immediately stop using the slogan “Cal Tort: Burritos as Big As Your Head.” We desperately search for other body parts to compare ourselves to.

2005: We have a Tort slogan contest (see above). And although we don’t end up picking a winner, my personal favorite is, “Cal Tort: Friendlier than grandma with less ass pinching.” I like it because this person seems to have such an interesting grandmother.

2006: Nicole Kidman uses the bathroom at the Cleveland Park California Tortilla. Who knew?

2007: We do a “Scratch Off Card” promotion. We buy approximately 14 billion too many scratch offs. All of which expire in a week.

2008: We launch the Burrito Elito card. We give away millions of dollars in Burrito Bucks in a very short time. We did not see that coming.

2009: We retire our mascot “Chippy” because everyone thinks he’s a piece of pizza.

2010: We add fish tacos and carnitas to our menu. The crowds (and chickens) go wild.

2011: We’re slated to open our 40th Cal Tort sometime this year. We’re hellbent on making sure that you’re never more than a block away from a spunky cashier.

Thanks for making it such a spectacular 16 years! (And for all you regular readers of Taco Talk, do you have any idea how happy I am that I got to use the line about the Yappy Hour dogs again?)

AND FINALLY…

This month’s winner of a party catered by California Tortilla is the Utility Maintenance Division Crew of Leesburg, VA. Carol Nylander submitted a loving/very descriptive poem of what these guys do (which should make us all very appreciative of maintenance crews) and even better, the picture below. And while we loved the poem, I think the fact that they have someone on the maintenance crew who calls himself “Mr. Fun” is really what tipped the scales in their favor. (Do you think Mrs. Fun’s on board with that moniker?)

Congratulations you guys—if anyone deserves a Cal Tort party it’s you!

If you’d like to party like the Utility Maintenance Division Crew of Leesburg, just call1 855-CALTORT (1-855-225-8678). Cal Tort catering experts are standing by with hard hats on.

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