IT’S A DOUBLE PROMOTION

Cinco de Mayo’s right around the corner. And because it falls on a Saturday this year, we’re celebrating on Cinco AND Cuatro de Mayo. That’s right—if you make any purchase at California Tortilla on Friday, May 4th or Saturday, May 5th, we’ll give you a free taco coupon that can be redeemed anytime between May 6th and May 15th. (Hopefully you’ve got a head for dates.)

Cinco de Mayo is our favorite holiday at California Tortilla and we’re making it a 2 day extravaganza this year. So stop on by on May 4th or 5th and get a coupon for a free and fabulous taco!

*One coupon per customer.

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

If you haven’t tried our new Caribbean Mango Burrito or Caribbean Mango Salad, you’ve got to try them. They’re SO delicious. I eat the salad every single day. Every single day. I’m telling you—it’s that’s good. And look—a handy picture and description…

Caribbean Mango Burrito: Mexican Rice, Black Beans, Blackened Chicken, Caribbean, Mango Sauce, Mango Salsa and Crisp Romaine Lettuce. Small: $6.49 Regular/Bowl: $7.29

Caribbean Mango Salad: Fresh Salad Mix, Blackened Chicken, Mango Salsa, Hass Avocado Slices, Crunchy Tortilla Strips, Juicy Roma Tomatoes, Fresh Cilantro and Caribbean Mango Sauce. $7.99

THIS JUST IN

Mother’s Day is almost here and a very funny conversation that I had with some of my friends recently got me to thinking about how different it is being a mother now than it was when I was a kid. And while your experience might have been different, I’d like to share just a few of my childhood mother memories. Ready?

WHEN I WAS A KID…

• My mother didn’t make us wear seatbelts. She let us bounce around the car unfettered – and if need be, whipped out her Mom Arm to stop us from flying through the windshield. (My husband said that sometimes his mother let him lie on the dashboard. I think that might have been a little excessive, even for those days.)

• In elementary school, my mother let me make Jiffy Pop by myself. If you’re not familiar with Jiffy Pop, you cooked it over an open flame and shook it with a metal, heat-conducting handle. Woo-hoo!

• My mother used to be able to keep me occupied for hours with a Slinky—which I think may say more about me than my mother.

• When I got home from school, my mother made me go directly outdoors with the warning, “Don’t come home until supper.” (I once sold all the vegetables from our neighbor’s garden without telling them. She paid closer attention after that.

• When it rained out, my mother made me wear plastic bread bags on my feet. (How much were boots?)

• My mother used to bake all of my birthday cakes with pennies (taken directly out of her pocket) hidden in them. The kids who survived my parties thought that was the greatest.

Looking back, my mom was nothing if not fun. And now that I’m a mother I appreciate her more than ever. So do me a favor and give your mom an extra hug (or better yet, a Caribbean Mango Salad) for me on Mother’s Day—she deserves it. And if you have any childhood memories of your mother (or father!) that you’d like to share, please email me at pfelix@californiatortilla.com. I’d love to hear them.

AND FINALLY…

If you’ve got an event that’s coming up sometime soon (oh, say something like Cinco de Mayo or Mother’s Day) and you need some delicious yet reasonable food, we’d love to cater it. Just call 1-855-CALTORT (1-855-225-8678) and speak to Melissa, our catering specialist. She’ll do all the work and you’ll get all the credit. And really, isn’t that what it’s all about?

On that note, Happy Mother’s Day AND Cinco de Mayo!

Questions! Questions! Questions!

We get lots of questions here at the Cal Tort HQ, and I’d like to answer just a few of the more pressing ones we’ve gotten lately. Ready?

Q. Every time I order, my co-worker whips out her Burrito elito card before I can find mine and then she ends up getting the points for my meal. What can I do?

A. The next time she does this and the spunky cashier says, “You have $5 in Burrito Bucks on your card, would you like to use it?” Say yes. That’ll put an end to that.

Q. Why don’t women seem to care what the heat ranking of their hot sauce is?

A. Because they’re normal.

Q. What is the single biggest complaint you get from customers?

A. That I insinuate half of them aren’t normal.

Q. What is the most difficult part of being a queen?

A. Getting the other queens to return my calls. I’ve been trying to arrange a happy hour forever.

Q. I LOVE the new Caribbean Mango Salad! What makes me crave it so?

A. It’s made with the really fresh, really flavorful ingredients. (That’s it. I just wanted to nonchalantly work in how much I love the new salad. I eat it every day. EVERY DAY.)

Have a burning question? Email me at pfelix@californiatortilla.com. I love to hear myself talk.

Speaking of our fabulous limited time offer…

Caribbean Mango Burrito: Mexican Rice, Black Beans, Blackened Chicken, Caribbean, Mango Sauce, Mango Salsa and Crisp Romaine Lettuce. Small: $6.49 Regular/Bowl: $7.29

Caribbean Mango Salad: Fresh Salad Mix, Blackened Chicken, Mango Salsa, Hass Avocado Slices, Crunchy Tortilla Strips, Juicy Roma Tomatoes, Fresh Cilantro and Caribbean Mango Sauce. $7.99

Reward a Hero, and yourself!

Do you have a community hero-someone who’s helping others but whose good deeds fly under the radar? Tell us in a few sentences what makes him or her so special and if we choose your hero, you’ll BOTH win big:

What your hero will win:

A free Cal Tort catering party for 50 people. PLUS, best selling authro and huge California Tortilla Fan, Brad Meltzer, will write an essay about your hero that will be included in the next Taco Talk. 150,000 people will soon know all about your hero. (Yes, every time I make a typo, I do it in front of 150,000 people.)

What you’ll win:

A free Cal Tort catering party for 50 people!

How to Make a Nomination:

Simply email spunky@caltort.com by April 22nd and tell us in a few sentences what makes your hero the best hero in all the land.

On that note, we hope you’ll check out  the book that inspired this promotion: Brad Meltzer’s Heroes for My Daughter. It’s a collection of the stories of 55 remarkable people that’s meant to guide daughters on their journey to adulthood (thus ensuring that I’m not one of the 55). The book comes out April 10^th and I’m sure you’ll love it. Brad’s a great writer and a really nice guy to boot.

Now go find that hero.

AND FINALLY…

Cinco de Mayo’s right around the corner! (Guess when?) Make sure to order early. If you order by April 22nd you will receive $1 off per person for every order of 20 people or more. Woo-hoo!

Have you catered with California Tortilla before? We offer burrito, fajita and taco parties for any size group. Plus it’s so easy! We’ll provide plates, napkins, utensils, and a bottle of our house Hot Sauce, California Screamin’.

Just call 1-855-CALTORT to place your order and watch the magic begin.

*All orders must be placed via 855-CALTORT. Offer valid for all orders placed between April 1 – April 22 and fulfilled by May 7.

CHECK IT OUT! IT’S MANGO MANIA COMING MARCH 5…

Caribbean Mango Salad and the Caribbean Mango Burrito are our latest menu specials and they’re absolutely fabulous! If you love mangoes as much as I do, you’ll love this special.

Caribbean Mango Burrito: Mexican Rice, Black Beans, Blackened Chicken, Caribbean, Mango Sauce, Mango Salsa and Crisp Romaine Lettuce. Small: $6.49 Regular/Bowl: $7.29

Caribbean Mango Salad: Fresh Salad Mix, Blackened Chicken, Mango Salsa, Hass Avocado Slices, Crunchy Tortilla Strips, Juicy Roma Tomatoes, Fresh Cilantro and Caribbean Mango Sauce. $7.99

IT’S TRUE!

As this is shockingly the 200th issue of Taco Talk, I was going to make this a “Best Of” issue, but then I realized that it would be a very short newsletter. (The worst of Taco Talk could have gone on for days.) So instead I’ve just decided to include the Taco Talk excerpts that have gotten the biggest responses over the years. Ready?

RETRACTIONS A GO GO

After exclaiming my love for the Queen Mum the previous month, in June 2004’s Taco Talk I was forced to write this retraction after hundreds wrote in with some shocking news:

In last month’s Taco Talk I said I loved anything having to do with the Queen Mum, and in particular, I loved that she looks good in hats. Well, apparently she doesn’t look as good in hats as she used to — she’s been dead for two years now. You would have thought that being the Queen Mum fan that I am, I would have known that, wouldn’t you?

Anyway, I’d like to thank all of those readers who brought news of the queen’s unfortunate demise to my attention—your emails were that rare combination of somber, yet hilarious.

And in October 2010 I was forced to write this retraction after over a thousand readers questioned our new charity affiliation:

As many of you may recall, in my last email I wrote about how excited we were to be affiliated with Share Our Strength, a fabulous organization that’s dedicated to ending childhood hunger by 2015. At least that’s what I meant to write. What I actually wrote was that Share Our Strength is an organization dedicated to to ending childhood by 2015. That’s right—childhood in general. And it’s not just any organization—it’s a fabulous organization that’s dedicated to ending childhood. Seriously, could there be a worse typo in an email about helping children?

So thank you to all who wrote to point out my error—many of your emails were beyond funny (these tended to be from people who weren’t horrified).

MY THOUGHTS ABOUT SODIUM BICARBONATE

In August 2008 I wrote that I would give the first 10 people who could identify what I thought was the funniest line in that month’s Taco Talk a free burrito. Over 2000 people wrote in—the majority got the answer right, but many just guessed. And a few helpfully wrote in to say that they didn’t think anything I say is funny. (At least they’re still reading.)

For those who are curious, the sentence is below:

Because we’re always looking for ways to make more money, I’ve been thinking of other ways to use California Tortilla food—kind of like how Arm and Hammer started promoting baking soda as not just a baking ingredient, but as an odor eliminator as well. (How they knew I have no idea. Did people start noticing that when they made their cakes with baking soda they were less stinky?)

I’m not sure why, but I couldn’t stop laughing when I wrote the last sentence. I’m pretty sure most people didn’t think of this as nearly as funny as I did, and quite honestly it doesn’t seem nearly as funny now, but I remember at the time not being able to breathe I was laughing so hard. There’s something wrong with me.

AND THE ONE THAT GOT THE BIGGEST RESPONSE OF ALL, WITH WELL OVER 3000 RESPONSES

The first person to tell me what this says gets a free burrito. GO!

For those of you who are reading this on your phone, that sentence was written in the wingdings font and you had to figure out what it said. Had I known this would have gotten such a big response, I would have written Taco Talk in wingdings right from the beginning. Who knew?

On that note, thank you from the bottom of my heart for letting me write Taco Talk for the past 17 years. You have no idea how much I realize how lucky I am that this is my job—and how lucky I am that you’re such a funny audience. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Here’s to another 200 issues! (Doesn’t that sound like a nightmare?)

NOW A WORD FROM STACEY, OUR VP OF MARKETING

In the March 2011 Taco Talk I informed you of my obsession with my March 1st Birthday and California Tortilla’s Social Media. After an embarrassing arm wrestling match at the staff meeting, I have been allowed to declare the entire month of March as “Social Media Month” here at the Tort.

On Facebook, the number of fans through March 15th will determine which coupon for delicious free food will be posted and valid only on March 16th. The more fans we have the bigger the offer. So make sure to get your pals to “Like” us.

If we hit 20K fans then a free Chips and Queso coupon will be posted

If we hit 25K fans then a free Taco Coupon will be posted

If we hit 30K fans then a free Burrito Coupon will be posted

Twitter followers will be able to compete each day in March to win a Burrito Elito card loaded with Free Burritos for a year. All you have to do is follow @caltort and then tweet something that includes a mention about us. Such as “Wow – I love watching @Revenge while eating delicious @caltort chips and guac”. The folks here at HQ will pick the best tweet of the day.

If you are pinning on Pinterest you could win catering for 50. You can get started with images from any of California Tortilla’s boards but get creative. What images remind you of California Tortilla? Tomatoes? Queso? Maybe a group of friends watching Revenge and eating very delicious burritos? Just e-mail spunky@caltort.com a link to your Caltort themed board by March 31st. We will announce the best board in early April. The winner will get a party for 50 of their pals courtesty of 855-CALTORT.

Over the last few weeks you may have noticed some changes: a new cup, a new foil wrap for our delicious burritos, perhaps our brand spanking new logo. Well, we thought it was time to let you know why we’re making all these changes. Ready? Here goes…

WE’VE HAD THE SAME LOOK FOR 17 YEARS!

17 years, people! It’s time for a change, don’t you think? Not only that, but after extensive research we realized that most new customers don’t know about the incredible quality of our food—that our chicken breasts are fresh, never frozen; that our guacamole is made from #1 Haas avocados; that we make dozens of recipes in small batches throughout the day so that you get the freshest food possible. So along with a new logo and new look that we think reflects the freshness of our food, going forward many of our stores will have display kitchens so you can watch the magic for yourself.

What won’t change? We’ll still have the same great food and employees; we’ll still have promotions like Pop Tart Day and the Monday Night Wheel; I’ll still make typos in Taco Talk (that would really be discombobulating if I stopped that charming little practice, wouldn’t it?). We’re saving the best and changing the rest.

And because we want you to love the new look like we do, starting February 1st, we’re handing out magnets with our new logo to anyone who stops by a Cal Tort.* Put it on your fridge, take it to your tattoo artist (wait! our lawyer says don’t do that), show it off at the next board meeting—just fall in love with it. You can also take a picture of you and our new logo and send it to skane@caltort.com. We’ll post them all on Facebook and you could win a prize.

And on a personal note:

I want to thank my many fans who’ve written in to say that they miss my picture on the cup; the reaction has been overwhelming. I haven’t checked my email today, but I think we’re up to 2 people at this point. (Seriously. How unmemorable am I?)

On that note, we hope you enjoy the changes—there are many more exciting ones to come.

*No purchase necessary – while supplies last

17 YEARS AGO WHEN WE FIRST OPENED

• Ginger Rogers was alive.
• I faxed Taco Talk to customers. At least I thought they were customers—a lot of times I got the number wrong. (Sorry, Ginger.)
• Computers used floppy discs. Of which I still have 3 bazillion—and they all say Disc #1 or Disc #2. I have no idea what the subject is.
• Some people didn’t realize that they should have spent a little more time coming up with their personal email address. Says foxxylady28@aol.
• Starbucks was in its infancy–and my husband, who through some fluke got in on the initial stock offering, was busy selling his stock because he decided “no one will ever pay $2 for a cup of coffee.”
• Starbucks has returned more than 20,000% to its initial investors. (Guess what subject comes up daily at our house?)

SPEAKING OF MY FAVORITE HAZELNUT TOPPING

We are spreading the love this Valentine’s Day, Tuesday, February 14th! We’re giving Love Chips (you heard me) and a Nutella® Hazelnut Spread sample with every entrée you purchase. Love Chips are chips sprinkled with cinnamon and sugar and Nutella® Hazelnut Spread is well, just the best thing to ever happen to the free world. It’s a chocolate and hazelnut spread that’s beyond delicious. If you haven’t tried it you have to stop by. And if you have tried it, you’ll stop by because you know of what I speak.

So come on in on Valentine’s Day and share in the joy that is Nutella® Hazelnut Spread. It’s the best Valentine’s gift you’ll ever get (from us). I promise.

AND FINALLY…

If you place a Cal Tort catering order with the lovely Melissa, our catering guru, she’ll give you a 10% bonus food credit for any order placed by this Sunday, February 5th. Handy Example: if you place an order for $300 (and please, feel free to spend more) you’ll get an additional $30 worth of food. Woo-hoo!

To place your order, call 1-855-225-8678 (I-855-CALTORT). And remember, California Tortilla has the perfect food for the SUPER big game that will BOWL you over.

THIS JUST IN…

California Tortilla’s eagerly awaited predictions for 2012. Ready?

Cal Tort’s 2012 Predictions

• Mindful of the perils of social networking, politicians will diligently work on finding a new way to send constituents photos of their body parts.
• Someone will buy a cupcake from a cupcake store and not say, “I find this cupcake dry. Do you find it dry? I don’t know what all the fuss is about. I could make this at home for a quarter.”
• The man who keeps emailing me that he’s stuck in a London hotel room without any cash, credit cards, ID or access to a phone (or door apparently) will finally figure out how to get out of that darn place. (Or am I the only one who gets this email every couple of hours?)
• Princess Kate will give birth and one of Princess Fergie’s daughters will wear the new baby as a hat.
• Scores of Taco Talk readers will point out that Fergie is a duchess, not a princess. The writer of Taco Talk will ignore them. She will also assure them that she does not endorse wearing children as headgear.
• California Tortilla will undergo some fabulous changes in 2012 and the crowds will cheer wildly. Just you wait.

You heard it here first, folks.

EVERYTHING’S BETTER WITH VEGGIES

Did you know that almost all of California Tortilla’s menu items can be made vegetarian? Just say, “Veg me!” (with gusto) when you order and we’ll switch out the protein for our delicious veggie mix: corn, red onions, zucchini and red, green and yellow peppers. PLUS, for the month of January we’ll donate 50 cents to local food banks for every veggie item sold, up to $5000. Just when you thought it couldn’t get any better, we’ve up the veggie ante.

See you here…

BIG GAME (as in football, not large wild animals) CATERING

Okay, for reasons unbeknownst to me I’m not allowed to say the name of the super big game coming up, but I really think you should have California Tortilla cater it; your friends and family will be super happy about it.

For a super great catering experience for all the super events in your life, call 1-855-225-8678 (1-855-CALTORT) from 9-6 Monday through Friday to place your super delicious order. Super spunky catering specialists are standing by!

And if you had any idea how much I dislike the word “super,” you’d really appreciate how painful that paragraph was for me to write.

DUE TO POPULAR DEMAND, THE GYRO BURRITO HAS BEEN EXTENDED FOR A SHORT TIME MORE! GET IT WHILE YOU CAN!

Happy New Year…