HUGE, HUGE NEWS!

J.T. PAPPY’S GATOR SAUCE IS BACK! After a mysterious 18-month hiatus, California Tortilla’s most popular hot sauce is back in every flavor. Not only that, but California Tortilla is the only place in the world you can get it. That’s right — the only place in the world. Being a Secret Club member is suddenly paying off, isn’t it?

So start the new year out right and douse your burrito with some fabulously delicious J.T. Pappy’s.  Where else can you do that? Oh, that’s right — nowhere. (You’ve got to eat here. There’s no choice.)

FREE TURKEY CHILI OR TORTILLA SOUP DAY
Baby, it’s still cold outside, so we’re going to heat things up this month. Come into your local Cal Tort on Thursday, January 23, and we’ll give you your choice of a FREE 4-ounce turkey chili or chicken tortilla soup with any purchase. Just tell the cashier the secret password, “Brrr-itto” (aren’t we clever?) when you order.

Our chili and soup are so delicious and hearty, so come on in, warm up from the winter cold and snag this month’s fabulous Cal Tort freebie.

ROCKVILLE FREE BURRITO DAY IS MONDAY, JAN. 13
Our Rockville restaurant has been undergoing a head-to-toe makeover, and we can’t wait to show it off. Come celebrate the fresh new look at our 199 E. Montgomery Avenue restaurant (by the Regal Theater) Monday, Jan. 13 with FREE Burrito Day. From 11 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. and 5 to 7:30 p.m., we’ll be giving away a FREE burrito and drink to every guest (one per person, please). Plus, the first 20 people in line at 11 a.m. will receive FREE burritos for a year!

IT’S THAT TIME OF YEAR!
If you’re anything like me, you’ll vow to eat more candy lose weight this year. And at Cal Tort it’s easier than ever to customize your meal to make it fit into your diet – by doing things like ordering your burrito in a bowl instead of a tortilla, asking for “light” cheese in your quesadilla or making your meal with fresh sautéed veggies instead of meat, to name just a few.

But those are just some of the obvious things. Below is a list of some of the other things you can do that you might not have even considered. Ready?

Cal Tort Weight Loss Tips
•    Freeze your burrito and lick it until it’s gone. (This is especially effective if you have an overweight tongue.)
•    Run around the block while eating your burrito.
•    Instead of using your Burrito Bucks for food, use them for a tummy tuck. (You didn’t even know that was an option, did you?)
•    Eat half your Cal Tort meal and then throw the rest at passersby. (This is straight from the monkey weight loss handbook.)
•    Pick your own lettuce for your Cal Tort salad.
•    Instead of eating your salad, put it in your pocket.

There you have it, folks – tried and true weight loss tips. Good luck!

MY FAVORITE CAL TORT REVIEW OF 2013

Zagat’s 2013 Dining Guide
: “In the fast-casual burrito wars, this homegrown chain defends its turf with some of the best burritos for the money…but its secret weapon is its sense of humor.”

Who knew? (Not the woman who wrote me an email saying that she didn’t like Taco Talk because she thought I was trying too hard to be funny. To which I replied that apparently I’m not trying hard enough or else I actually would be funny.)

AND FINALLY…
This is an actual conversation that recently took place at my house with my sons Ryan (age 6) and Jack (age 8):

Jack:  Max goes to private school. Can I go to private school?
Me:  Maybe you’ll go to private school one day, honey. I don’t know,
Ryan: Hey! I want to go, too!
Me (pleased with my 6-year-old’s new interest in his education): Okay buddy, maybe you’ll go to private school, too.
Ryan: Private school? I don’t want to go to private school! I thought you said pirate school.

Isn’t it great that in his world pirate school exists? I want to be 6.

On that note, I hope you’re having a fabulous, pirate-free New Year!