HALLOWEEN’S RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER…

And when you make a purchase at California Tortilla anytime from October 29 – 31st, we’ll give you a free glow-in-the-dark, temporary Cal Tort tattoo for your kids to wear while trick-or-treating. (I lobbied for permanent tattoos, but no one listens to me.)

So stop on by and pick up a glow-in-the-dark Cal Tort tattoo anytime from October 29 – 31st. Let the bright light of a Cal Tort logo guide your little ones through the dark as they beg strangers for candy that you’re going to steal while they sleep.

BIG MENU NEWS…

California Tortilla will soon have a fabulous new menu! But there’s no need to worry — because while we’ve added some delicious new menu items, we’ll still have all of the old menu items that you’ve come to know and love. (Unless you’ve come to know and love the Buffalo Chicken Wing Burrito and the Havana Chicken Burrito. Those you might want to stock up on.)

And although I’m not at liberty to say what will be on the new menu just yet, I’d like to sing you a little song before I go: “M-A-N-G-O, M-A-N-G-O, M-A-N-G-O and M-A-N-G-O was the salad-o!”

It kind of falls apart at the salad-o part, but I’m hoping you can still crack the code. Stay tuned to next month’s Taco Talk. It’ll have all the new menu scoop and more!

SPEAKING OF CHANGES…

As many of you know, California Tortilla is in the midst of totally re-branding our concept — same great food, just a fresher and more exciting look. With that said, the makeover has made me think that if we could go back 18 years and do it all over again, what would we do differently? So after much thought and consideration (just pretend), here are just a few of the things we might have done differently:

• We would have opened a puppy store. People rarely return their puppy because there’s not enough sour cream in it.
• We would have greatly increased our cupcake offerings. Who knew?
• I would have married Alan, the guy who used to be on the cup with me. You have no idea how disappointed people are when they find out we’re just friends. (My grandmother still doesn’t know. Partly because she’s been dead 20 years.)
• Instead of “Taco Talk” I would have called it Burrito Blab. And I would require people to say “blab” slowly and with their tongue sticking out. Go ahead — try it. See how much more fun that is?
• Instead of California Tortilla, we would have called ourselves California Tortoise; slow service would be prized and we’d get to wear turtle outfits.

See — wouldn’t that have been better?

AND FINALLY…

A couple of years ago I congratulated Hugh Hefner in Taco Talk on his marriage to a 24-year-old and then wrote that, coincidentally, my 84-year-old father would soon be announcing his engagement to Miley Cyrus. In the next month’s issue I was forced to issue a retraction because my father informed me that this would not be happening, mostly because he had no idea who Miley Cyrus was.

Well, this just in: I spoke to my father yesterday and apparently in light of recent events, he now knows who Miley Cyrus is and is willing to reconsider the engagement.

 

On that note, have a safe and Necco Wafer-free Halloween!